I Deactivated my Facebook // What I Learned

I have been without a Facebook for over a week. I did so because it was causing a lot of bad things in my life and my mental health. This is one thing I never thought I could do but I did it and I wanted to share my thoughts and tell you what I learned.

On the first day of deactivation I was very anxious. I felt like I was missing out on something and I felt very detached from the world. I kept clicking on the app only to remember that I was no longer a member of the Facebook community. As the second and third days rolled around I didn’t feel as anxious but I still woke up every morning and grabbed my phone to check Facebook. It’s amazing to step back and realize how much of my life I actually spent just “checking” Facebook.

After about a week I stopped even wanting to look at my Facebook. The only thing I felt alarmed by was that I was absent from Facebook for nine days and absolutely no one contacted me to see if I was ok or what may have happened. It really proved to me that the validation I was always seeking was only in my own mind. I thought by deleting my Facebook I would miss important things or I would miss someone sharing something special with me only to find out that even if I disappeared no one would notice.

I have reactivated my Facebook today only to catch upon my Thrive business and make sure everyone was ok and I definitely didn’t miss the bull crap you read and all the drama. I think I may deactivate for good.

All in all this was a good experience for me and I suggest you at least try it for a week. It will open your eyes to a lot.


Happy New Year!!

Hello everyone, I hope you had an amazing holiday season. I am so sorry I have been so absent I have been going through some things health related, relationship related and mentally. I will expand on this in a later post. Well since 2018 is here and 2017 was such a terrible year for me I have decided to set myself some goals for this coming year to get to a better place and live a happier and healthier lifestyle. I thought I would share those goals/Resolutions with you all in case you are in the same boat as me.

First off I am finally going to step it up and get my butt into shape, and not just a round shape haha. My goal weight loss wise is at least 85lbs or down to a medium/large shirt and size 14/16 pants which ever comes first! Secondly I have also decided I am going to stop spending money on dumb shit and actually plan for my future. I have cut out all subscriptions I have, except Apple Music of course and decided my husband and I will go on one date per paycheck. Next, I would like to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. I feel like I’m wasting my life away sleeping late which is cause by 3 or 5 o’clock bedtimes. Next I aim to be more active on all my social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram, wordpress and YouTube) and post more positive things and keep my negative thoughts and feeling to my journal and my therapist. Lastly, I aim to be more active in my independent sales such as Thrive, Country Scents Candles and Lala Leggings. I aim to at least get two customers per month and step out of my comfort zone.

I hope you all will join me on this journey of bettering my life and overall well-being. Comment some of your New Years Resolutions, id love to see them!

Benefits of Keeping a Journal

I have been journaling for over 8 years. I keep over 6 different journals at one time only because each one of journals have a theme. Refer to one of my other posts on 7 types of journals to keep. https://wordpress.com/post/thejournalgurl13.wordpress.com/28 in total I have over 35 journals. I use journaling for many different reason. To escape from the problems of the world, to brainstorm story ideas, to describe characters for stories, to cope with mental illnesses the possibilities are endless but today I would like to share some of the benefits of journaling are.

First off it helps you get to know yourself better. It helps clarify your mind, reduces stress and helps you open up about things that you may not feel comfortable enough to share with your friends or family. It could help solve disagreements you may have with someone by writing down the problem and finding solutions.

Journaling can also help boost your memory and comprehension, improve communication skills and self confidence. Journaling is also a great way to spark your creativity. I love journlaing because it gives me an outlet and frees my mind from all the negative thoughts I have each day. Journaling has saved my life on more than one occasion.

Happy Journaling!


13 Reasons Why // Coping with Bullying


Recently I have finally caved in and started watching 13 reasons why on Netflix and upon watching this series I found myself relating to Hannah Baker very much in many aspects of her story. I love the way this series explains the story of Hannah in her own words. I highly recommend watching this series on Netflix. I finished watching the series today and felt compelled to share my story with you and give you some resources if you feel this way too.

My bullying story started all the way back in 6th grade at Westwood Middle School. Sadly most of the bullying came from kids I grew up with and spent the last 5 years of my school life with that knew my story and my background. From the very first week of 6th grade the torturous bullying started. Mostly about my weight and the fact that my family didn’t have a lot of money so I had very few outfits.

A kid I knew started calling me a dirty, which means I don’t bath or wash my clothes which obviously wasn’t true but that term spread like wildfire. The next day people stopped sitting next to me on the bus, in class or at lunch. The whispers started your a dirty, why don’t you take a bath once in awhile they would say. It started getting worse. One day as I was getting off the bus someone threw a shopping bag at me which contained travel sized soap, shampoo, conditioner and wash clothes. I was so heart broken that at the young age of 13 I had already had my first thought of suicide. I tried to ignore it for a few more weeks but it just got worse to the point that they were now starting to use my weight as a new way to bully me. My new name was cow or whale. It continued you all the way up until 9th grade. I was so excited to go to a new school.


Little did I know high-school was just the same. The names started again and the mistreatment. I had things thrown at me at lunch. In one of my classes I heard a rumor about myself that I had sex with a boy for money. Which was not true of course but it didn’t make it hurt any less. The names started circulating slut, whore, nasty cunt you name it I was called it. My senior year in high school was the worse. They started a list similar to the one from 13 reasons why. I was named the most likely to have sex for money, the most likely to not take a bath etc etc. I had finally reach my breaking point. I left school for over a week and too counselling which saved my life. Bullying is a very real thing and living with it makes life difficult. Bullying and suicide too often go hand and hand. I alone thought of suicide more than a few times.

If you are being bullied please step up and tell an adult. If you see bulling happening step up and tell an adult. There are also anonymous way to report bulling as well check out  http://stopitsolutions.com/ and if you know someone who is thinking about suicide or if you yourself are thinking about suicide please tell someone.

Here are a few links that may help!

What to look out for:
Take a stand against bullying and step up and speak out about suicide!

Anxiety Disorders and Substance Abuse 

Too many times when suffering from an array of mental illnesses we sometimes turn to certain substances which could potentially harm us. Causing another disorder call substance abuse disorder. Some of us don’t even realize it has become a problem because we are so use to the same routine. Have a flair up and use. I’d like to talk about some of the warning signs and where you could get help!

Substance use disorder (SUD), also known as drug use disorder, is a condition in which the use of one or more substances leads to a clinically significant impairment or distress. Although the term substance can refer to any physical matter, ‘substance’ in this context is limited to psychoactive drugs. Addiction and dependence are components of a substance use disorder and addiction represents the most severe form of the disorder

There are a ton of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder, although everyone feels anxiety in different ways but in general they all feel fear or worry in the absence of a clear and present danger.

Adding substance abuse makes diagnosis even harder. The joining of the two is considered a co-Curring disorder. People with co-occurring disorders, also referred to as dual diagnosis, have both a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder. If you feel like you are one of these people please get help!

Here are few articles explaining this further and also a place you can get help from!

Get help: https://www.drugrehab.com/treatment-centers/

More info on Anxiety and substance abuse: https://www.drugrehab.com/co-occurring-disorder/anxiety/

Coping with mental illness


I suffer from a few mental illnesses and I wanted to share ways that you can cope with each illness. It is very hard to live life everyday for me but I am slowly learning how to cope.

First off depression is no stranger to me. I have been suffering with depression for about 10 years. I use journalling as a way to cope but here are a few more ways to cope with depression. Reach out and stay connected to supportive people. Do things that make you feel good, even when you don’t feel like it. Move vigorously during the day, don’t sit for more than an hour. Learn about the mood-boosting benefits of omega-3 fats. Get a daily dose of sunlight. Challenge negative thinking.

Anxiety is next on my list. Now for most like me anxiety is depressions best friend. You cant have one without the other. Mine comes in the form of over thinking and worry. Again I use journalling as my best coping mechanism but here are a few more ways you can cope repeat your worry until your bored silly which means  take the troublesome thought that’s nagging at you and say it over and over, silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. It’s hard to keep your mind on a worry if you repeat it that many times. Recognize the false alarms which means Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concern―even panic―are just background noise. Think of each of them as a fire engine going to another place. You’ve noticed them; now let them pass by. Meditate, make peace with what is making you anxious and don’t let worries stop you from living.

Other ways to cope with both include seeing a therapist, keeping a journal or asking your doctor about medication that may work for you. Last but not least if you ever have suicidal thoughts or tendencies please call 911 immediately and let them know you are having the thoughts if that is not an option for you please call the 24hr suicide prevention line 1-8002738255. There is also a chat room now if you just need someone to talk to http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx and they have a safe space as well https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/safe-space/

Remember I am always here if you need someone to talk to feel free to email me at sntenney15@gmail.com. You are worth it!!